Throughout my whole life I have never had anyone that was particularly close to me be in immediate threat of death (at least in my mind... usually I found out after I already knew they were okay that there had been a threat, ie car accidents, pulmonary embolisms, etc.) . I know I'm incredibly lucky on this front, I'm not complaining.
I went to the dentist last week - the same one I have gone to since I was eight years old - and as we were chatting I was reminded of what a kind and caring person he is. As I left his office and pulled out of the parking lot I had a sudden feeling of sadness about him getting older and how I would miss him when he passes away. I quickly reminded myself that he really wasn't that old, I would say he is probably comparable to my parents age... and revised the thought to how I would miss him when he retired.
On Friday my mom called me with concerning news, one of my aunts (the one I have the closest connection to and adore even though we rarely have a chance to spend time together due to distance etc.) had had to have an emergency appendectomy, As the hospital was trying to send her home she insisted that she couldn't breath and refused to go. GOOD THING TOO! Turns out she has a hole in her heart that she didn't know about (and neither did anyone else obviously). Now she has to have open heart surgery early next week.
Knowing this threat is there puts an ache in my heart, but I'm glad that I know. I love that lady and I look up to her. She is spunky and driven and determined to do things that fulfill her at the same time as she does her best to look out for her children. Last time I saw her she had fire engine red hair (I knew I got my desire for funky hairstyles somewhere!) and a mischievous grin that reflects her great sense of humor. She and I have always been kindred spirits.
I really don't know what to do with myself though, I want to do something to help, but I know more people up there "helping" would only cause stress (her son, my mom, and one of my other aunts are already en-route or already there). I no longer believe that prayer makes much of a difference - outside of being a kind of self comforting mechanism - so praying about it seems kind of asinine to me (I know many many people will disagree with my assessment of prayer, but tough cookies, that's my reality right now).
I guess the best thing I can do at the moment is just to let her know I love her (I have texted her, because I don't want to inundate her any more than she already likely is). I don't even want to think about the risks involved with open heart surgery... so I'm going to do my best to pretend they don't exist because there is zero I can do about that.
Now just to find someone in the Portland area that will go and get one of those little remote control helicopters for me and deliver it her to help keep her entertained while she recovers! Anyone know of someone? I'll pay for it! (her trade is in helicopter mechanics).
PS. I really wish classes weren't scheduled to start on Monday.
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Update!: My aunt came through it all fabulously! In fact she feels better than she has in a very long time! :D Yay for modern medicine!
