And that is kinda weird coming from a women that is currently a SAHM (stay a home mom).
Here is what confuses me....
There is a lady I know whose husband recently lost his teaching job. Which is very hard I'm sure. This couple has one child who is still an infant but no longer nursing. The mom is having a very hard time with going back to work even though her family needs it, and while her husband had to work full time to support the family she can manage it on a part time basis.
Now, here is the core of my confusion. If she is able to make so much more with her education than her husband can with his, why doesn't she become the primary breadwinner, period? Or if she is really set on being home, why not until he gains more education (which wouldn't take long in this situation) to be able to provide better for their family? Her husband will be home with their child so no worries about daycare and having someone raise their child different that they would like. I'm confused, as I said.
In the past when I was a working mom, I had a hard time leaving my children with their grandmother every day. I understand that, cause grandma/grandpa/aunt/uncle are not as likely to be able to predict what you would want done with your children in any given instance. But a husband should have a much better understanding of this.
Personally, if my situation was such that I could make substantially more than Jer going to work, I WOULD. I fully trust him with my children and think he is a great father. I would not have had children with him if I did not trust him. I think he would be a GREAT SAHD (stay a home dad)! And while I have always wanted to be a SAHM since I was small, I never assumed that I would be able to. I have always seemed life does twists and turns we don't expect. I almost think she may be cutting herself and her little family short because she is so resistant to not having a "traditional" household.
Help me out here, I'm trying to empathize, but it's hard when you don't understand.
4 comments:
I'm a working mom, so let's get that out in the open. I WISH I was a stay at home mom but my husband insists that I work, and so I do. Plus I'm really good at my job, and I actually like it.
So, I am with you. If they need the income, and the wife can get a job, then she should.
However, some men are terrible at home with the kids. I love my husband but he is horrible when it comes to child care. So, maybe that is why your friend can't imagine leaving her baby with him?!
I'm even nursing and I leave my baby with my husband. Granted my job is only once a week and some other odd days, but I am still gone for a considerable amount of time and my husband does a great job. I like my job and I think it makes me a better mom. It's hard with your first baby, though. It's hard to leave that first one. I'm much more easy with my third. I trust my hubby more than ever before and he has really stepped up.
Both The Husband and I work. We don't NEED both incomes, but we are trying to be resposible and pay off bills (ahem, student loans, I'm looking at YOU!). When we get to the point that we feel comfortable living on just one income, we will. And whoever has the highest paying job will keep working. The end.
Hmmm. I wonder if a lot of her attitude comes from how she was raised. When Ben lost his job, I interviewed for several teaching jobs, and if I would have gotten hired, I would have done it, definitely. I didn't get hired for any of the jobs, but I wonder, if I had gotten a teaching job and been the breadwinner, if I would have been resentful of Ben. I think I might have. Because it's so ingrained in me, because of my upbringing and the neighborhood in which we grew up, that the dad works, and the mom stays at home. When Ben was staying at home and I was working two jobs to make ends meet, I was really resentful and even asked him to get, like, four minimum-wage jobs so that I could be at home. Which would have been dumb, logically. I just had a hard time getting over those programmed attitudes that I learned when I was a child. It's interesting. I'm just thrilled that Ben got a fantastic job and I can be at home with my kidlets again. It was really stressing me out.
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