Hi All, I haven't posted in a very long time... partially because I didn't know much I could post without offending those that I really really don't want to offend, while at the same time being authentic to myself. So I just stopped posting. Time to update though.
The summer was hard, but that isn't really news. We are still living with my in-laws, which is a huge help yet still very hard. Our marriage had some bumps. I worked the community lunches at our school (it's a federal program that provides free lunches to people under 18 years old for free) with my friend Nari. It helped to be able to have some kind of income until school started and it was a good preparation for when school actually started. We didn't venture any farther than thiry minutes away because we simply couldn't afford it.
The highlight of my summer? Well, that would have to have been the massage that I was able to get in June. I had given my dad a gift certificate for Christmas that he was not going to be able to take advantage of so he returned it to me so that I could use it. It was fabulous :)
School started on August 15th for Turbo (Preschool) and on August 18th for Missy and Goober. Because I'm an assistant at the school now I don't have to pay tuition for Turbo and he gets to stay all day until the other kids get out of school... which is a godsend because otherwise he would not be getting preschool due to cost and having him there until after school also makes me working more doable if Jer is able to find a job.
Oh, I can't remember if I updated on that or not. Jer found a job for a short time with a construction company that required that he live in Colorado until Sept. We tried it. It didn't work so well. So he came home and is now looking for a job again.
Anyways, back to me working. Right now I work for the charter school who provides our school with lunches. In the morning I get the number for lunches then prepare them and deliver and serve them to our school. After lunch I switch to assisting at the kids school until school gets out and then I switch back into lunch lady mode to input lunch balances, input figures into the computer, make reports (both daily and monthly), distribute fruits or vegetables to the classes for the Fruit and Vegetable Grant that our school got, and count the milk in the kindergarten room so that I can restock in the next morning for the Kindergarten Milk Snack Program. Then some days I switch modes again to PFA (remember that? It's like the PTO) President to do meetings for that etc.
Needless to say I spend a lot of time at the school and doing school type stuff.
The last couple of weeks were hard. Really hard. There wasn't enough time in the day to do everything that needed to be done for lunches (making lunch cards etc), the computer program at the school wasn't working right (the orders were not coming in on time or were not able to be input), the school changed the lunch schedule on me without letting me know (well, actually that was more the teachers than the school...), and then I had a teacher argue with me about how a student didn't get her lunch ordered and how that was somehow now my problem... oh, and did I mention that this was in front of at least 15 students while I was serving lunch? Then there was my assisting job that simply wasn't happening for a while... and the poor teacher that was putting up with it and my feeling like a failure in that department. Yeah. It was a swell week.
On top of that I came home to a house that was not mine, that my sister in law decided to stay at for the week as well, and that I have no personal private space in (though, don't get me wrong, I'm very VERY grateful to have a space to live at all... it's just really hard) and that I seem to be constantly offending someone in some way in...
Well, you get the point.
I miss feeling at home basically.
Now things are starting to chill out a little with school. I'm starting to get into a routine at least somewhat. I need to take a test for Math and English skills with the college sometime this month because I will be starting classes in January and need to register in October for those and hopefully Jer will get this job that he has applied for and passed a couple of screenings on.
So, that is the update. It's not very cheerful... but it is what it is. And I really am not trying to complain, but it's hard to say "life is hard" without sounding whiny. I'm just trying my best to buckle down and somehow do everything that I need to do to get through this. I can say that I'm very grateful that I have a loving and kind husband who doesn't moan about being a stay at home dad and running all sorts of errands etc for me, that put up with my long hours for those couple of weeks (hopefully these next few weeks will be a little less), and that is a really good dad. I know this is hard on him too, and I'm certain that at times I make things worse even when I don't mean to.
Our kids are clothed and have food and beds to sleep in and they have good teachers, I have a job that I can at least potentially leave when the kids get out for he day and that I can do partially from home if needed (at least the paperwork). I'm grateful for my in-laws and their generousity in putting up with us and for my parents and their generosity in trying to help us with letting the kids do fun things like dance class for Missy, going camping, and taking them sometimes so that we can get some time to wind down. I'm thankful for understanding friends who realize that I don't feel comfortable inviting them over socially unless I ask my in-laws first and who also understand that I also am reluctant to invite my children's friends from school over ... because, again, it isn't our house.
I'm grateful that our renters have paid their rent (so far) even if they are a little flaky and do pay late. I hope that we don't have to evict them for not paying certain utilities... but if we do... well, maybe Jer will get that job, eh? And maybe we could move back into our own house... maybe, but I'm not counting on it... Wishful thinking, eh? Well, you have to hope for something... right?
PS. My camera is having issues as well, so sorry... no pictures. Fuzzy fuzzness is not fun to look at lol
