People I Haven't Seen (or Heard from Personally) in Years.

Okay, so I have a dilemma...

When I was in college I had quite a few sets of roommates, not because I didn't get a long with people, but because I felt it was a good opportunity for change and a good way to meet new people. During the two and a half years I was there I had four sets of roommates, which I was totally okay with.

There was one set of roommates that I would term my "best" roommates, in that I got along fairly well with all of them. They were pretty neat girls. Though, I will admit, that I was always one to be over sensitive about being left out of things... so instead of being left out, often times I would take off for the weekend to do laundry at my parents house (kind of a preemptive "I won't be around to be left out" kind of thing... looking back I maybe should have acted differently, I don't know honestly)

Well, this set of roommates tries to get together about every four years or so. It's kinda neat. Last time we spent a weekend near park city, just the six of us girls... well, except the baby one of the girls brought along. It was a nice get away (though -- I admit -- I felt fat the whole time, that's what happens when you go four years without seeing people and you are one of two people that have gained weight, and the heaviest one by far. This was nobody's fault but my own though! Yup, blaming self there). Everyone was pretty agreeable, and I never felt outcast in any way.

Alas it's been four years again and I recently received an email mentioning another "roomie reunion". My dilemma is this: I seldom hear from these ladies except when one of these "reunions" comes up... I don't know if I should take that as an indication that they really aren't too interested in me or just that they have their own lives to lead and it doesn't occur to them (see, still haven't gotten rid of that overly sensitive to being left out thing... have a feeling I will be struggling with that for the rest of my life...). That by itself isn't a big problem but it also seems that there is a desire to have it only be the "girls" again and most of the ladies have never met my husband and most certainly do not know my children. Besides, we excluded the guys and kids last time and there was mention of sometime doing something with all of them (or at least a lunch or something with all of them) so we could meet each others families. Together these two things (no contact and no family) start to be a problem for me.

I don't want to give the impression that I'm a total spoil sport, that I'm a big party-pooper, but really... it does appear that these people don't really want to know or understand me (or each other, unless they have been in constant contact over the last four years and have all met each others husbands and families...). Yes, I'm much more than just a mother and a wife, I hate it when people assume that there is not more to me... but my husband is my best friend on the entire planet (I honestly don't know how I could handle life without him), and I would give my life for any one of my kids to have the opportunity to become all that they want to be in this life, get that -- give my life for their opportunity. I'm not saying that this isn't also the case with many of these girls... I just don't really know how I can really know them, or they me, without us at least meeting (or having the opportunity to meet) the most important parts of our lives.

Maybe they just need a weekend off from being mom and wife. I understand that. Hell, at the end of May Jer and I are taking off for a week sans kids because I almost went insane this winter because of the overwhelming feeling of loosing my identity. There has to be time to be "ME" in any persons life, but does it have to be an occasion that happens only once every four years? Last time I honestly considered not going because I wouldn't have my greatest emotional support in the world there with me (yup, that's Jer -- just knowing he is around helps me to be, well, more ME! Especially the current me). I think I'd be okay without the kids... then again, atm I'm a little OD ed on them... I would LOVE to meet the other girls husbands and families though!!!

This time, I don't know if I will go or not, I honestly don't know if it will make much of a difference to them or not if I am actually there. I mean, sure, anyone would say "Ohhhh, I'm so sad you aren't coming!" or "We really missed you!" but sometimes it's really hard to tell if that is just being kind aka not rude, or if it's honestly the truth. Besides... I have no idea if I will even be able to hold a conversation with these girls... I have, after all, gone a bit "apostate" and would most likely no longer agree with any of them politically, I still hate scrap booking, and I have this newly discovered feminist streak in me... then there is the old "I'm going to get left out" ailment...

PS I know a couple of them have been to my blog before (I don't know if they check it anymore) but just in case, my intention is not to offend or accuse anyone of anything or to hurt anyones feelings, just to try to hash it out to see more clearly where I stand on the whole thing. Okay, butt sufficiently covered.

Something for mom too :)

Today I went shopping. Not grocery shopping (that was last night), not miscellanious crap for the house shopping, but CLOTHES shopping. Granded I only had enough extra moola to buy one outfit and some new jeans... and some new snow boots... but it was something for ME for a change! And I didn't even have to take the kids along. Halleluja!

Jeremy cleaned up the garage this morning and G went to Gma S's house to help her make cookies. We ran a few errands then Lissa called an asked if I wanted to check out the new Lane Bryant store.... Um, YES. So off I went leaving the sleeping younger kidlets with Jer while I got to giggle and laugh with a friend who doesn't make me feel like a sumo wrestler while we try on clothing :) There is no better way to spend some girl time than to wander around doing only what I want to do, not nessassarily only what I need to do.

When I came home and tried on my new shirt for Jer, G walked in and asked what I was wearing. LOL. umm.. new clothes. You would think the kid had never seen mom by new stuff for herself! So I told him that sometimes mom and dad need new stuff too. Granted I did pick up some long sleeves shirts for missy while I was out... but that doesn't count does it? :D