People I Haven't Seen (or Heard from Personally) in Years.

Okay, so I have a dilemma...

When I was in college I had quite a few sets of roommates, not because I didn't get a long with people, but because I felt it was a good opportunity for change and a good way to meet new people. During the two and a half years I was there I had four sets of roommates, which I was totally okay with.

There was one set of roommates that I would term my "best" roommates, in that I got along fairly well with all of them. They were pretty neat girls. Though, I will admit, that I was always one to be over sensitive about being left out of things... so instead of being left out, often times I would take off for the weekend to do laundry at my parents house (kind of a preemptive "I won't be around to be left out" kind of thing... looking back I maybe should have acted differently, I don't know honestly)

Well, this set of roommates tries to get together about every four years or so. It's kinda neat. Last time we spent a weekend near park city, just the six of us girls... well, except the baby one of the girls brought along. It was a nice get away (though -- I admit -- I felt fat the whole time, that's what happens when you go four years without seeing people and you are one of two people that have gained weight, and the heaviest one by far. This was nobody's fault but my own though! Yup, blaming self there). Everyone was pretty agreeable, and I never felt outcast in any way.

Alas it's been four years again and I recently received an email mentioning another "roomie reunion". My dilemma is this: I seldom hear from these ladies except when one of these "reunions" comes up... I don't know if I should take that as an indication that they really aren't too interested in me or just that they have their own lives to lead and it doesn't occur to them (see, still haven't gotten rid of that overly sensitive to being left out thing... have a feeling I will be struggling with that for the rest of my life...). That by itself isn't a big problem but it also seems that there is a desire to have it only be the "girls" again and most of the ladies have never met my husband and most certainly do not know my children. Besides, we excluded the guys and kids last time and there was mention of sometime doing something with all of them (or at least a lunch or something with all of them) so we could meet each others families. Together these two things (no contact and no family) start to be a problem for me.

I don't want to give the impression that I'm a total spoil sport, that I'm a big party-pooper, but really... it does appear that these people don't really want to know or understand me (or each other, unless they have been in constant contact over the last four years and have all met each others husbands and families...). Yes, I'm much more than just a mother and a wife, I hate it when people assume that there is not more to me... but my husband is my best friend on the entire planet (I honestly don't know how I could handle life without him), and I would give my life for any one of my kids to have the opportunity to become all that they want to be in this life, get that -- give my life for their opportunity. I'm not saying that this isn't also the case with many of these girls... I just don't really know how I can really know them, or they me, without us at least meeting (or having the opportunity to meet) the most important parts of our lives.

Maybe they just need a weekend off from being mom and wife. I understand that. Hell, at the end of May Jer and I are taking off for a week sans kids because I almost went insane this winter because of the overwhelming feeling of loosing my identity. There has to be time to be "ME" in any persons life, but does it have to be an occasion that happens only once every four years? Last time I honestly considered not going because I wouldn't have my greatest emotional support in the world there with me (yup, that's Jer -- just knowing he is around helps me to be, well, more ME! Especially the current me). I think I'd be okay without the kids... then again, atm I'm a little OD ed on them... I would LOVE to meet the other girls husbands and families though!!!

This time, I don't know if I will go or not, I honestly don't know if it will make much of a difference to them or not if I am actually there. I mean, sure, anyone would say "Ohhhh, I'm so sad you aren't coming!" or "We really missed you!" but sometimes it's really hard to tell if that is just being kind aka not rude, or if it's honestly the truth. Besides... I have no idea if I will even be able to hold a conversation with these girls... I have, after all, gone a bit "apostate" and would most likely no longer agree with any of them politically, I still hate scrap booking, and I have this newly discovered feminist streak in me... then there is the old "I'm going to get left out" ailment...

PS I know a couple of them have been to my blog before (I don't know if they check it anymore) but just in case, my intention is not to offend or accuse anyone of anything or to hurt anyones feelings, just to try to hash it out to see more clearly where I stand on the whole thing. Okay, butt sufficiently covered.

Car Pool?

Okay, so maybe you all can help me out.

I have a schedule conflict and a conundrum. Mornings are good, but it's the afternoons I'm having issues with.

You see, Missy has afternoon preschool (believe me, I WISH it was morning Preschool.... she pesters me all morning about when she is going to "school". Glad she loves it though!). And EB takes a nap at 2pm (usually... I can move it forward, but later in the day makes him a royal pain.) ...... now here's where the problem comes in. Missy needs to be picked up from Preschool at 2:45. Goober gets off the bus at 3:10ish and then needs to do his homework, lest he fights me tooth and nail over his daily reading etc. And believe me people, when I say he WILL fight me on it.

Technically I can put EB down for a nap right after I take her to school (12:30ish) and wake him up to go pick her up. But then he is all over crazytime hyper while I'm trying to help Goober with his homework.

Now, Ideally I would get in a carpool for Missy and take her and other kids TO preschool and have someone else pick them up. That way EB would be able to go down for nap at his normal time, sleep through kids coming home and homework time, then get up about the time the kids are ready to play.... around 4-4:30ish.

I have attempted to arrange carpooling with a couple of the other mom's in Missy's class.

One of the mom's had her oldest daughter in the class and "just wants to get into a schedule", plus she's preggo with a 2 year old at home. I thought it would be an ideal set up, her two year old takes an early nap.... about the time the kids have to be at preschool... but for some reason she is reluctant. Could it be that she is having a rough time letting her oldest child go to preschool? Maybe.

The other mom lives nearer to me (which would be nice) but "runs errands in the mornings" so she is already out and about and has no issues with dropping her son off at preschool except on Fridays, which she may need help with.

sigh.

How do others get the carpool thing going?! Do you have to already know the people before the need arises (aka get your kids in the preschool your friends kids are going to).

I have gotten a list of the kids and what their parents names and addresses are to see if I can scrounge someone up, but honestly I don't think that is very likely.

I may end up dealing with the hyper EB while trying at the same time to get Goobers homework done. :P

Any suggestions?