Tonight I was done being a mother. done.
Earlier today the power went out. Which means no "shows" for the kids and no computer for me. While I don't mind that so much I do hate not having a distraction while I make them lunch.
EB of course decided he wanted to be held while I made lunch. Which in and of itself isn't so bad, but the fact that I was making PB&J's due to the aforementioned power outage made this near impossible. So
whilst I tried to quickly make lunch EB wailed loudly on the
bar stool across the counter from me and
intermittently would climb down and try to force me into picking him up by standing directly in front of me and hugging my legs. Which in turn slowed down the process of getting things done, inducing more earsplitting
vengeance.
Of course once lunch was ready and I was able to sit him on my lap, all was good.
Then there was the usual back and forth of Missy disagreeing loudly with EB even if she has no clue what he is saying. And EB of course restates what he said, but in a louder voice etc etc etc.
This was my day.
Then Goober came home from school and we did homework. I even let him write his spelling words in shaving cream while Missy was downstairs watching
Backyardigans (yes the power came back on after lunch).
EB woke up early from his nap.
After a cop out dinner (give me a break! it's THAT time of month and I'm plumb tucker out
thankyouvery much) Goober and Missy wanted fruit snacks... to which I said no. They did have a small orange after there dinner. They shouldn't need any more sugar at the moment.
Oh, but heaven forbid that Missy mention she had a fruit snack after lunch today. Oh gads, the world must end! Goober starts boobing about how she got one, and how he should have one too. And how life isn't FAIR. "It's not fair mom!" ... time passes ... "It's not fair!"... and it's STILL not fair.
Enough. I've had enough.
Jer warns him that if he mentions it again he is going to bed. I tell him and Missy to start cleaning up the toys. To which he tells me no.
GAH!
So I haul him upstairs, change him (not so gently) into his PJ's, toss him into bed, and tell him to have fun with that.
I know some day he will understand. Some day many years from now, when he is grown with children of his own. And when that day comes I'm sure I will miss the days when he was this young. But honestly, right now... I wish I could make him understand that telling a mom that life isn't fair is about as ironic as it gets.
While I believe that in the long run I wouldn't be happier doing anything else but raising my children, lately all I want to do is be me. Selfish me. I want to be able to cook dinner without someone whining at me. I want to be able to buy new clothes for me and not feel guilty that one of my kids might need new socks, or for me to pay for preschool, or some other random thing. I want to be able to go exercise daily without having to pay for daycare or feeling like I'm putting someone out by asking them to watch my kids, or sacrificing time with Jer. I want to be able to sleep in till noon and not worry about if Missy's hair has gotten combed.
No, Life isn't fair.
I know that probably all I need is a vacation. The thing is, Christmas is coming... and family birthdays... and of course all the regular things. No funds for an escape right now. So until I do have some time, and some money I guess I will have to suffice with the fact that things will change.
They always do.
That the kids will grow, that their needs will change, they will learn. Maybe someday soon I will be able to get a nap without having them wake me up every five minutes. And what will seem like such a short amount of time they will be grown and gone. I know that looking back at the six years I have been a mother it really does seem like a short amount of time so I'm sure the rest will fly by too. So, until I have some time to call my own again I will make do. And tomorrow will be another day.
So, just like Goober, I think life might not seem fair.
But maybe in the long run things will even out.
It has gotten a LOT of use. It's nearly the same age as my marriage. It has been dropped, stepped on, dripped on, and I don't even remember all of the cruel and unusual punishments it has been through simply by being my camera.
Is my new camera (picture taken with the old camera). It has oodles of doo dads, but is still easy to use!!!! I'm in heaven... just ask my family... over Thanksgiving I took a LOAD of pictures just to "play" with it. :)
