My "I'm NOT Mommy" Day :)

Ok, so a while back some of my "Mommy Friends" and I decided we needed a day sans kidlets... you know, to just be US and not have someone asking "mommy" for things all day long. And what a good time to bring the idea up cause Nat was having her birthday soon!!!! Great excuse! So Saturday off we went to Nat's mom and dad's house (Hellllooooooo Neighbors!) for some "I'm Not Mommy" time.
Poor Nat injured herself the day before someing something UBER exciting. So Kar had to pick her up cause nat's knee mad her not be able to even drive. ugh.
We spend most of the day chatting up a storm... though technically we did have a movie going... we just weren't watching it :)

Arin made bows (she is hiding behind some unfinished ones).

Here is Nat aka "Gimpy" for the day playing with her cam, and Arin gluing.

And Gluing some more....

and CUTTING!!! Imagine!

Who stinks? ;0)

And here is Kar making cards :) her cards turn out so cute!

After vegging for a while and talking our heads off and watching Youtube videos for a while we went to see "Mama Mia" at the theater. it was really cute.. though if you are going for the singing expertise keep in mind that big ACTING names and singing don't usually go hand in hand :D I have to admit I was a little embarrased for Pierce Brosnan a couple of times ... :P

After the movie we went out to Wingers and Nat got a HUGE free desert due to turning a year older :)

Arin unfortunatley forgot her camera.... little did she know it was in her van!! She found it as we were about to head home.

These girls are so much fun! I'm really glad we got to hang out all day... and wish we had had a whole lot more time to laugh and giggle and goofy things. I definately want to do this again!

Well, now I don't know what to think.

This morning I had a miscarriage. I'm no longer pregnant.

And now I don't know what to think.

Body Image and Motherhood.

All my life I always felt like I was never cute enough, skinny enough, in shape enough, ... I never had the "right" body type. Somehow I was never "good" enough ... physically that is. Mentally I was usually pretty good. But every time a guy I liked would end up dating one of my good friends I would look at myself and think ... "well... DUH! She's cute!"

I know that sounds bad. Very degrading. Really. And that is what it was.

Degrading.

Thing is, I didn't come up with that on my own. Media shoved it down my throat since the time I was old enough to remember.

I think the only time I really felt good in my body was when I was in college. I finally decided the world could take a flying leap if they didn't think I was cute... or they didn't think I looked good. Cause gosh DARN IT!!!! I thought I was cute. And frankly, that was all that mattered.

So what that the boys at Ricks didn't pursue me. They were immature and always seamed to chase the floozy girls anyways ... you know, the girls that toyed with them, or the girls that were easy to get to make out with.

Now I'm NOT implying that ALL of the girls that dated at Ricks were that way... I'm not even implying that most of the girls were that way. It just seamed to me at the time that that was all the boys were interested in. And I decided I didn't want a guy like that anyways.

Soon afterwords I met Jer. :D

I remember coming home the night I met him and telling my mom "I'm NOT introducing him to my girlfriends till he has made his decision on ME! If he decides he isn't interested in me... so be it, then he can date my friends!"

Well, as you know... the rest is history. Turns out he liked me a LOT. Enough to marry me a couple of months later. It was fast, but so meant to be. And I felt attractive and downright sexy.

Fast Forward

Now I'm the mother of 3 beautiful children and expecting our fourth. And can I say... my body is NOTHING like what it used to be. While looking at this site today it really struck home. (be warned this site contains nudity though, in my opinion, it is not pornographic)

While pregnant and with child I think "I'll start exercising once I'm done with this pregnancy and I'll get back in shape" ... then the baby hits, and the only exercising that is conducive with a young baby is taking walks with the stroller... then add the other kids and it's a bit overwhelming. I want to be a good example for my kids... but I like things like weightlifting and bike riding, and those are hard to do with a young child (or young children) and no money. Besides the fact that even if I DO get back in shape... my body will never be what it once was. that's right. never.

I will always have my stretch marks even if they fade to silver. My boobs will never be quite so perky again. My legs will always have those spots where I can see the veins. And my hands are starting to have places where the veins poke up.

But you know? I've decided that society is warped. Some of these "marks of motherhood" are downright beautiful. Stretchmarks look like flames. And those poky upy veins on my hands? they remind me of my own mothers hands that cared for me so well as a child. Those veins I remember playing with, and pushing down on when I sat for long lengths of time next to mom and she would put her hand on my knee. Those veins? They mean comfort. They mean love.

These are things that I gave gotten by thinking of more than myself and what my body looks like. These I got by choosing to be a mother. I got them because I have these wonderful blessings called children. Why should these things be looked at with disgust and shame? They show sacrifice. They show thinking beyond ones self.

They are badges of honor.

Stung

Well, today I got stung by a bee.

For most people this wouldn't be a huge deal. Nothing they haven't been through before.

Well, I've never been stung before.

That's right.

Not once.

Till today.

I went into the backyard to close part of our gimpy makeshift fence that had been opened to mow the lawn. I figured if the kids were going to play out there I wanted them to be hedged in, and I had noticed it was open this morning.

So out I go barefoot and carrying Little Li. I get to the face and start to pull it shut when ...

OUCH! That hurt!

Did I step on a sticker? ....

WHAT IS THAT!!? It's moving!

HOLY CRAP IT'S A BEE!

What in heavens name was he doing in the grass? No wonder he stung me, I freaking stepping on the poor guy...

Well, though my stepping on him didn't kill him, him stinging me in the arch of my foot probably did him in.

Poor thing...

ouch! that's really starting to HURT. Ouch! OUCH!

Those things hurt worse than I thought they would!

It's muggy.

I'm not terribly fond of heat...let alone with the humidity... but we went to the park today with Mr M and his mom Lissa. It was pretty fun if sweat inducing.

Train Stop Shirt Dress GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!

Train Stop Shirt Dress GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!

way cute dress.... I want!!! (for Missy of course :)

Race

Ok, so recently there has been a load of hubbub on the news about race. Racial terms and who can and who cannot use them.

I personally find it repulsive that just because I'm of a certain COMPLEXION I cannot use the N word (not that I would want to). That for some reason it is assumed that I would mean it in a harmful way if I were to use it. But if a dark complected person were to use it, then to many people that is ok. Personally I think the word needs to be done away with.

While many argue that that particular word is in the process of being given a new meaning, much like the words "Gay", "Lesbian", and even "Mormon" have been given new non offensive meaning when they all at one time were considered insults. My issue isn't that the word is being given new meaning. That would be wonderful! It's that it's only being given new meaning when certain people use it. This is NOT the case with the words I mentioned above. Both homosexuals an heterosexuals alike are allowed to use the words Gay and Lesbian without it automatically being assumed that they are being spit at someone. Heck, the word "Mormon" is used by everyone and anyone... and I don't know of any LDS person in my lifetime that has ever taken offense to the use of it.

Recently I was visiting a website for pregnant mothers and came a crossed another double standard as far as race. There was a post that was titled "Where all the mocha mommy's @?" meaning African-American or black ladies (I don't know which people are preferring be used this year). I don't mind so much if someone is looking for others with a similar background as they have... such as "Where are all the Vermont mommy's @", or "Where are all the older mommy's @". The thing that bugged me about this particular post.... is that If I did the same thing I would have been pounced on. Heaven forbid I use the term Aryan or white. If I asked where all the blue eyed mommy's were I would have been looked at as strange. If I asked about people with German ancestry they would have wondered if my immediate parent was from Germany, not 5 generations back or more. And when someone who had a parents from Germany asked who was German in my family and I didn't really know their name.... they probably would think I was nuts for bringing it up. Cause I know very little about my German ancestors.

Call me dazed and confused. I don't get it.

Family!

So because my family reunion is thisweekend my Brother-in-law Whatshisbucket and his two kidlets (Miss Thang and Qwerty) are in town. Needless to say my kids idolize their cousins and really have fun playing with them. :)

My kidlets follow Qwerty and Miss Thang around like puppy dogs.

Kung Fu To YOU!

So today my wonderful mother took me and my two oldest kidlets to go see Kung Fu Panda.

Little Li stayed with my awesome Mother-in-law so that I might actually get a chance to pay attention to the movie :) Thank you!!!

Anywho, this is a way cute movie and I would very much recommend it. Goober and Missy both were inthralled by it... I didn't get one "can we go home?" or "I'm bored" or "I need to use the potty!" (x10) ... they sat and for the most part watched the movie :)

I'd heard this movie was good. And they were right :) planning to buy this when it comes out on DVD.

I love how it addresses things like not being comfortable with who you are, wanting to be someone your not, and of course being the best YOU that you can be.

Way cute. Go see it... sans babies if possible. You AND your older kids will love it. :D

Bling

So this morning at 10 am I finally decided Missy My had slept in long enough... I know she is a night owl, but when her little brother goes down for his morning nap and is starting to move around to wake up again and she is STILL not up, it's too much.

So I go into her room and what do I find?

Her buck naked except for....

HER JEWELRY

.....................................

What am I raising?!?!? Lady Godiva????

Anonymous Comment Day!!!

Ok , so I Know I've been a slacker and haven't done this in a while... and by a while I mean months! Sorry 'bout that.

Ok... so today's question. What is something nice you did for someone else within the last week? And it can't be for your children... cause HEY, we ALL know that those little buggers SUCK favors out of us on a hourly basis, if not more!

Tag from Kar!

Ok, tagged by Kar... and BTW Kar.... really, this is real... keep in mind that my house is up for sale though so it's required to be either clean, or able to get that way lightning fast!

1. Laundry Room - oops left the Zout out.. oh well I'll probably need it in the next half hour anyways :)

2. Favorite Room - This is a close one... the bedroom was in high contention! But I really do spend WAY too much time HERE!

3. Favorite Shoes - One is wet from a moment of airheadedness this morning... but I wear these all the time (outside of church of course... they just wouldn't look right with a dress.

4. The Toilet - Thank you Jer!

5. The Kitchen Sink -OOOOOOO Sparkly! Thank you Fly Lady and the fact that I had a MLS tour yesterday... it isn't usually that sparkly.

6. The Fridge - Thank goodness you can't peek into the containers ... or behind them for that matter!

7. What the kids are doing: Goober is watching Star Wars and Missy is busy tormenting Little Li (actually this is her giving back something she just took from him cause I got mad at her)

8. Self Portrait - Niiiiice, showin my religion... and what is that spot on my face... and why are my eyes lopsided!?!? I swear one is more open than the other!

9. My Closet - Crazy hangers, very little organization, no order to clothing...... this is one place I kinda ignore....

10. Dream Vacation: Actually, right now I would prefer a nanny to any vacation... so I could SLEEP for a change! :D

Now it's time to tag.... mmmm. How about..... Andrea, Erika, Tandee.... and yeah.. that is all I will inflict this upon!

Do you ever feel out of place?

I don't mean "Mormon at a strip club" our of place. I mean in a place where ideally you should be perfectly comfortable.

I had loads of these experiences in high school. You know. That awkward "not comfortable in your own skin" feeling that every normal teen feels on a regular basis. When you wonder why on earth you ended up in a given place at a given time cause, gosh darn it, it doesn't feel like it would make any difference to anyone there if you weren't there.

Sometimes it's purely teenage hormones, sometimes it the fact that that one kid kinda treats you like they think you are dumb or not as good as they are.

Since I went to college these experiences dramatically dropped. Probably due to the fact that I realized that it didn't matter how hard I tried there was no way that everyone was going to love, LOVE, LOVE me. As much as I always wanted to be that person that people come to the party to hang out with, that the party just isn't the same without... That person, that life of the party? Just isn't the person who I am. And by college I'd come to terms with this to some extent. Though I still escaped to my parents house every weekend to "do laundry" (and for those of you that know Jer and I's personal joke about "doing laundry" I'm NOT talking about that... get your minds out of the gutter!!!! I was a pretty good kid and I knew what not to mess around with ... THANK GOODNESS!).

Mainly the reason I would go to my parents house was because I always felt wanted there, greatly missed when I wasn't around, and greatly appreciated whenever I did something for someone else. I always felt that the things I did were noticed, even when nobody said anything about them. In fact it was a common thing for me to try to do nice things and hope that nobody knew it was me that did them (which is really hard when you are the only kid left in the house!)

As I got older and got married and had my kids I became less and less concerned about being in the "IN" crowd. I was too busy. Once in a while Jer and I will notice the way someone behaves towards us... such as the neighbor who can't tolerate us, but has to be civil because their spouse would be mortified if they weren't. Or the fact that a certain group of people never acknowledges us. But for the most part, we don't let it effect us too much. Again, we are too busy worrying about our kids and whatnot to worry about how to get in with the "in" crowd. Besides the fact that fake people bug the crap out of me... and to be part of the "in" crowd I would in essence have to BE fake. Not really myself. I would be disgusted with myself. And in the end that would be more harmful that not being a part of the "in" crowd. For the most part I keep myself out of situations where I would feel unwanted or out of place, as it were. I try VERY hard not to insert myself where I am unwanted.

So this last weekend I had the rare occurrence of actually feeling out of place when I don't think I should have. Who knows it may have been hormones... I mean this morning I DID get sick with morning sickness... and isn't' that caused by hormones?!

As I stood there, in that place that I was at, I thought... "Why am I here?". Well, I had good reasons to be there. I try very hard to be a good friend even if there is never an occasion for the favor to be returned. And trying to be a good friend is the reason I was where I was. The interesting thing was though... that the person I came for was not the person/people that made me feel out of place. The thing that made me feel the most out of place? The fact that one or two of the 30 some-odd people at this event seamed to have it in there mind that I was below them.

Do people not realize how obvious it is when you try to pretend to be interested in someone, especially someone you really have no connection with? I personally would rather be ignored. Then at least I can save us all the discomfort and quietly excuse myself and either go find someone there who really wants to talk to me, or go home to my loving hubby and adoring kidlets.

Why is it that every once in a while Heavenly Father decides that we need a time warp and need to remember how it feels to be a misfit. Maybe it's to insight gratitude for all that we have. For all those moments when we feel perfectly at home. Perfectly loved. Perfectly wanted and needed. And perfectly normal. With of course those few quirks that make those you love raise their eyebrow and think "that was such a (insert name here) thing to do!" with a smile on their lips.

Sleeping Babe

Ok, this is a picture that was taken by my Sister-in-law Az. It's her son Little J. Jer ended up watching J for about an hour on Sunday and apparently he konked out while he was here :) Poor tired kiddo.

Funny things my kids say.

Yes one last post. I've been a bit of a slacker lately (for me) and feel like I must do a load to redeem myself :)

a couple of funny things my kids say.

A couple of days ago at my mom's house I was really irritated with my kidlets cause they were being especially bad about listening. As I said Goobers name for the umpteenth time with GREAT irritation in my voice, I followed with "am I talking to the WALL?!?!" to this Goober replied. "No" then he turned to my mom and said "My mom is being kinda mean to me today" I about busted up laughing! I mean... wasn't the cause of my irritation the 5 yr old in front on me!?

Now this next one happens all the time. As Missy My is doing something she knows not to do I will count her "1.........2........3.....Time OUT!" quite often she will reply "No! Don't tell that to me!!" with a sassy expression on her little face.... (again.... what caused mom to do this? could it be the child in front of me!?) needless to say, she ends up hauled to time out anyways.

I know as time goes on I will be able to laugh more at that last one and not just get peeved. :P

yes... I changed it again...

Cut and Dyed. And before you ask, yes this is the SHORTEST I have ever had my hair. Ever. But I really do think I like it. I know I like the color at least :) and Hey! hair grows out eh? But I think i like the cut too... I've only had it since yesterday evening. So I've only had to style it once. I guess we will see on a "bad hair" day if I really like it or not!

The New Playhouse

So my mom and dad put this together at there house for the kids to play on when the kids are up mom and dads house. it so they can play outside on something relatively unsupervised... seeing that like window wells, I'm a little bit paranoid about trampolines (which they have one of) and tend to have to have someone else watch the kids as they jump so that I can look away cringing often.

Not that my kids didn't already adore going to my parents house... but their favorite activities there were jumping on said trampoline and throwing rocks in to the stream that goes through part of the backyard. Normally I don't mind the throwing rocks into water bit, but someone definitely has to be watching in case one of the chillins falls in. Hence the playhouse.

They should have a load of fun tomorrow when we go up for the 3rd of July fireworks (mom and dad's little town does it on the 3rd so as not to fight with the "big kids" down the way).

I hope my camera continues to work for the 4th of July celebration, it was having small hissy fits today and doesn't want to function quite right....

Last day of T-Ball

This morning was the last T-Ball game. In the beginned Goober didn't watch anything that was going on... and in the end he still didn't watch much of what was going on. But he had fun playing catcher (i think that is his favorite position, probably cause they are always doing something it seams. He seamed to have fun though the heat was not so fun of course. He is such an Idaho kid. Hates hot. Anywho... now I have to figure out other stuff for fun this summer cause.... staying at home all the time will not only drive myself nuts, but the kids nuts as well!!!

(Goober is in there somewhere under my mom's umbrella.... you can see Missy My though... off to the right.)