Skipping Services

For a while now our family hasn't attended any church services. I think that most of this has to do with the fact that I no longer believe in the LDS Church (which is where we always used to go), though I have to be clear... I'm not opposed to going to the ward.

I was talking with a family member a while ago about this and mentioned that Jer and I had come to an agreement. I would come to the ward every other time we went to any service, and I would help him the the kids etc, if I was allowed to go to another congregation the rest of the time. I asked him if he would please come with me when I went, mostly so that I would be able to talk about the services without having to do a "play-by-play", he was amicable to that.

When I recapped a recent conversation between Jer and I with this family member, One were I made clear to Jer that if he was more adamant about wanting to go to the ward, which he hasn't been, then I would be more adamant about making sure I went to another congregation. He stated that honestly if I were more set on going to another congregation, he would then be more insistent on going to the ward. Both of us shared the opinion that if one view was exclusively shared with our children, we would want them to have a counterpoint.

In response to my conveying these ideas, the family member I was talking to stated "So, your discouraging him from attending the ward?"

Now, this family member is LDS and I have to admit, I understand where they would want to fault me for Jer's inactivity... I am, after all, the one that is doomed (according to their beliefs) but I find it somewhat interesting that they don't see it the other way as well... that Jer is "discouraging" me (and the kids) from going to another congregation as well. I figure that our family is more important than what may happen after this life... and if being tolerant of each others religious beliefs is necessary to help our family run smoothly, then that is fine with me. It really is a small price to pay when it comes to the people I love dearly, which my husband is no small part of.

What's amusing to me is the fact that I'm not really discouraging anyone to do anything religion-wise. I'm just no longer the one that makes sure everyone gets out of bed and dressed to the nines. Church is no longer important to me... if it's important enough to Jer then he will make sure that we all get up and out the door, or at least make a really good effort towards that. I'm not discouraging, I'm just no longer encouraging. I'm sitting firmly in the middle... though I have to admit, I don't know if the kids "church clothes" even fit them anymore, I kind of think not.

So for now we are considered "inactive" at church. We are not attending any church. Isn't "inactive" better than "not a member" to those that adhere to the LDS belief system? And on the flip side (from my point of view), isn't "inactive" better than only sharing one sects opinions on life with my children? I do, after all, want my children to always use their intellect when deciding what they think about things... and that includes God.

I don't want them to ever just "take someones word for it" when it comes to their belief system, I did that for far too long and I think if I had really thought about my beliefs sooner I probably would have been more likely to retain the belief system I was raised with, as it is, I'm don't... I want my children to believe things because it feels right to them, not because someone tells them it is right.