Well, I Went to the Doc Today....

about my depression I've been suffering with.

For those of you that just think it's in my head, I'll admit it is... yup that's right... that's where all those chemical reactions are at dumby! :) Depression is kind of like being a parent. In that there is no way you can possibly understand how it feels till you have been there.

Here is the best way I can think of to describe it:

You know the song "Taps". It's the song that is played by the trumpet or bugle at military funerals. It's really forlorn. And it makes me tear up almost every time I hear it even when I'm not depressed.

Well, for me, and it's probably different for other people... it's feeling like I'm listening to that song on a continuous round. It never stops.. in fact it has more impact the longer it goes. And on top of it, it feels like I've just gotten home form a long trip cause, man, it makes me just want to sleep. I think the sleep thing is a side effect of the depression cause I don't want to have to deal with life at all. Oh, then on top of that my whole body aches all the time.... fun, fun.

This is the main reason that in a previous post I said that without my kids I would be lost. When I'm depressed they are one of the only things that make me get up in the morning and keep going.

Anywho, I like our doc, cause he not only gives you a Rx if you need one... but he also tries to make sure you are exercising and eating better so that your body can cope as well. Though he admits that sometimes people need the Rx to give them the drive to be able to exercise and eat right.

So starting again tonight, I'm going to try start taking walks as prescribed by the doctor... (if my massive headache ever goes away, but that is another topic)

I'm so glad he doesn't just throw a prescription at me and call it good. Cause then I know he will do his darnedest to make sure I get back off of the medication when I no longer need it.

Anywho, Hopefully I can climb out of this quickly and get back to enjoying life. There is light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope. :)