about my depression I've been suffering with.
For those of you that just think it's in my head, I'll admit it is... yup that's right... that's where all those chemical reactions are at dumby! :) Depression is kind of like being a parent. In that there is no way you can possibly understand how it feels till you have been there.
Here is the best way I can think of to describe it:
You know the song "Taps". It's the song that is played by the trumpet or bugle at military funerals. It's really forlorn. And it makes me tear up almost every time I hear it even when I'm not depressed.
Well, for me, and it's probably different for other people... it's feeling like I'm listening to that song on a continuous round. It never stops.. in fact it has more impact the longer it goes. And on top of it, it feels like I've just gotten home form a long trip cause, man, it makes me just want to sleep. I think the sleep thing is a side effect of the depression cause I don't want to have to deal with life at all. Oh, then on top of that my whole body aches all the time.... fun, fun.
This is the main reason that in a previous post I said that without my kids I would be lost. When I'm depressed they are one of the only things that make me get up in the morning and keep going.
Anywho, I like our doc, cause he not only gives you a Rx if you need one... but he also tries to make sure you are exercising and eating better so that your body can cope as well. Though he admits that sometimes people need the Rx to give them the drive to be able to exercise and eat right.
So starting again tonight, I'm going to try start taking walks as prescribed by the doctor... (if my massive headache ever goes away, but that is another topic)
I'm so glad he doesn't just throw a prescription at me and call it good. Cause then I know he will do his darnedest to make sure I get back off of the medication when I no longer need it.
Anywho, Hopefully I can climb out of this quickly and get back to enjoying life. There is light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope. :)
13 comments:
I'm glad you were able to see a doc, and that he's helped you out. If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me.
Geez, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. But it is nice you found a doctor who wants to do more than just medicate and boot you out the door.
If it helps, I've always thought you were fab!
I'm sorry you are dealing with that. I haven't been through it myself, except for post-pardem, but I know others who are dealing with it and the excercise really does help along with medicine. Good luck. I'm glad you are honest with us on your blog. We love you!
Amen. And, good for you.
I totally agree. I hate it when people would tell me that not only was it all in my head, but that if I would read my scriptures more, attend the temple and be more committed at church-- then magically my depression would be gone.
That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Good for you for being proactive!
You are loved!
Oh. Crap. When I saw the title in my sidebar feeder, I assumed that this was going to be a happy prenatal post.
I get frequent bouts of depression too. My husband is one of those people who doesn't believe in Depression and thinks that I should just get over it.
One thing I've noticed is that it takes me forever to psyche myself up enough to leave the house. But once I do, I forget a lot of my woes and I feel much better. Especially when I go to work, because then it feels like I'm actually being pro-active in tackling my problems rather than giving into my instinct to bury my head under the covers and sleep the entire day.
Getting plenty of sunshine can also combat depression. I think that's related to the absorption of Vitamin D.
Hugs and prayers to you, ma'am!
You'd be very surprised at how many bloggers I know who appear to be perky on the surface but are also fighting deep Depression.
Your blog template matches my purse and wallet exactly!
Just thought you should know that.
Hang in there! I am sorry you are not feeling well, it is hard!
Oh, Apes, I've coped with clinical depression for many, many years. And it's true; if you haven't been there, you don't understand it. The tiredness totally makes sense, now. My depression manifests itself in exhaustion. And anger. I don't cry a lot, but I get super-mad all the time, about everything. And it's hard to get motivated to do anything. Like, getting off the couch and walking up the stairs is a gargantuan task. I hope he gave you some good meds to help. I'm on Lexapro and I LOVE it. I've been on a few different kinds, but Lexapro is my favorite, because it doesn't make me into a zombie. You deserve to enjoy life, and don't let anyone make you feel dumb about this. It used to bother me that I had to take medicine to be normal, but I've gotten over it. It's like my thyroid disease. I have it, and I need to take meds to function. If you want to talk more about it, call me. Kissy, kissy. We love you, Apes!!
I hope things get better for you. I'm glad your kids are a strength to you, and that your doctor is helping you beyond a prescription. Good luck, and please let me know how I can help!
Depression runs in my family, we have delt with it in many ways so I know it is real and it sucks, and it doesn't matter how happy you are usually (thanks to those little chemicals that can get you down anytime). I just hope the meds help and things get back on track soon for you!
I understand a little bit about pregnancy and depression. Before I got pregnant with this baby, i thought that the only way my marriage would survive another pregnancy would be if I got a prescription to help me with the hormone issues, that I too deal with. Fortunately I found an amazing prenatal vitamin that has saved me and my marriage. It also has 12 herbs in it for mood control. Let me tell you...if I miss a day or two, everyone knows it! I HIGHLY recommend them. They sell them at your Fred Meyer. They are called New Chapter Organics Perfect Prenatal. They are so great! Hope you feel better!
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