And by the way if your not single and do not find yourself in Cordy's position... this one's NOT for YOU! :) I (like Sue) would TOTALLY adopt her if possible! But you can read anyways if you want to... then back me up with LOADS of POSITIVE COMMENTS for Cordy!!! Cause those feel really good to receive, and besides, they're fun to hand out too.
Here is my Glorified comment for Cordy:
Back in the day when I was still single I remember having huge crushes on guys and NEVER telling them. Never. Because of the fear that I would be devastated by their reaction.
I look back now and wish I would have told some of them. Why is it the guy needs to be the one to make that move? .... anywho.....There were only ever two times I let a guy know I liked them in all my single years. Though if any of them had half a brain they would have seen it bright as day. Both of the times I let the guy know (either through major flirting, or just telling them ... talk about scary and putting yourself out there emotionally!) Good things ensued. One of the boys ended up a boyfriend, the other ended up my husband.
Can I say I'm SO GLAD I didn't let fear keep me away from my hubby. I can't imagine the world without him. I would have been devastated to have watched him, fallen in love with him, and then watched someone else walk away with him in the end.
Believe me, I understand the fear of putting yourself out there emotionally. It's a major fear I still have. In fact, I don't have many truly close friends because of my fear of letting people be really close to me. But the good friends I do have, I know they would drop just about anything if I needed help, and I would do the same for them.
I know what it's like to hurt so bad you just want to lay in bed all day and cry.
So, in summation......PLEEEEEASE tell him!, or at least his mom. If you want any chance in heck at least do that! .... She knows anyways, even if you did give her the "I'm seeing someone" line. it probably confused her.... but give the lady some credit :) She knows her son better than anyone in the world... she has literally known him his whole life. She wouldn't hurt you by telling him (besides, she would have to admit she was meddling in his love life... ), though she may drop hints to get him to WAKE UP. She likes you more than the alternative.
Please, save his poor mom from his current girlfriend. She likes YOU better. And save yourself from forever regretting not saying anything. At least by telling him you wouldn't be wondering for the rest of your life "What if...." or "If only I'd ....". In my opinion (and that is all this is) regret for inaction is worse than anything that could happen (cause lets face it, he's a decent guy and would never intentionally hurt you).
P.S. Being single is so hard. My heart aches for you, if you need to pray about it, then do. But I think you already know what you need to do, whether it be starting a fantastic new life or finally being able to move on. Good luck sweety.
13 comments:
I'd never heard of Cordy, but I'm hooked! I'm so unbelievably hooked. I had a best-friend-wish-it-was-more situation for three years. Oh, the agony!
Your advice is fantastic. Still, I must admit that I'm so glad I didn't have a blog people could comment on when I was in love with that one idiot in college. I think I had enough voices in my own head, anything else would have put me over the edge.
I know, single life is real termoil! I just don't want her to regret not telling him for the rest of her life. Especially if when he thinks about it, he really can't live without her too. Hence him saying in the past that his wife would have to put up with her even if his wife didn't like him hanging around her ... :P
I just spent a ton of time reading her site. She is just so stinking cute! I agree that she should just tell him, but it's easier said than done. I mean, it sounds like they've been friends for years and years. I'm pulling for her.
You guys are making me cry. Thank you for caring. It's such a relief to be able to tell people this stuff. I'll think about what you said.
(But I'm still paranoid.)
Whatever you do, it's totally up to you. It's your life. Just know we totally adore the snot out of you and want you to be HAPPY!
I was a "don't ever let them know girl", and... it saved me from ending up in a lot of relationships with guys who were more into the fact that I liked them than were into me.
Yeah, I could have dated more, but I think if a guy really likes you there's no way he could miss the signals of mutual attraction.
I'm just worried that comments from a bunch of people with different views wouldn't do the poor girl any good. But I also think it's great for people like you to let her know you care:)
I've never heard of Cordy before, but I love it! It reminds me of a romance novel or something. I hope she doesn't mind if I follow her story too. I'm rooting for her and her best friend. I think you gave great advice!
So I spent my son's naptime today reading the Cordy saga rather than wash the dishes or exercise, but it was TOTALLY worth it. Cordy you are so amazing! I just ache for you! My sister went through the same thing with her best friend. I'm definently rooting for you too and wishing you the best!
Ok,
Hey Jen, you know I think that for a majority of people, the unknown is the most Phobic causing enity, death is fearful for most because of the unknown, Giving speechs in front of a group is scary for fear of not knowing how people in the audience will recieve you and your words. Also, the fear of not knowing whether or not "Cordy" should or shouldn't tell this "Seth" boy about her feelings: 1) is her choice and will always be her choice. 2)"Cordy" needs to determine a Cost/Benefit analysis. (What does the future hold for "Cordy" will depend on her mental exercises)
I, personally, would tell him. but I would be careful and (like how I do almost all my big decisions, ie asking my wife to marry me.) bring up little things that would elude to my feelings and also bring up (ever so Slyly) conversations the will help "Seth" vocally relay his feelings as well.
So a cost/Benefit analysis, if I was in her shoes, would go like this.
Q. What is the most likely thing that would happen to me if I didn't tell him my feelings?
A. And there will be many. some of them might include...1."Cordy" could stew on this boy for years to come, making life a little harder than it should be. 2. She forgets this obession and moves on with her life and cherish her good friend, but will have to force herself to drop her feelings. (very unlikely since emotions run the human existence) 3. and any others that an obsessed woman can think up.
Q What would be the good/ bad that could come out of telling "Seth" her feelings?
A. Also many differnet outcomes but for that you have to ingore the least likely. 1. "Seth" doesn't recipricate her feelings and a.things get awkward for a bit. b. or she loses a friend.
2. "Seth" does recipricate her feelings. this has a couple of options. a. he is in a relationship and it is not something he would like to leave or he is willing to leave. b. He is not in a relationship commited and they go out on a real date. and from there who knows?
So what does the cost of telling him versus the benefit of telling him?
From reading/listening to my wife read "Cordy's" blog, I as a Guy, have some observations I hope would help.
He has done somethings (that you have listed) that tells me he is "into" you too. Talking all night long to "YOU", What other Girl Friend did he invite to his moms Birthday party? He says he "MISSES" you after a small period of time away.
Moms know a ton from living with there sons. when "Seth's" mom says “I know you think you can’t tell him, but I think you can. I think you should.” she know 1. how he would react. and 2. how he feels.
I suggest "Cordy" you take what you know about him and make a decision. but what ever you choose make sure you are good with it. Don't look back.
As a Guy I think he is telling you in the little things that he likes you just as much as you like him.
Take it from me asking never hurts. it took April 4 "What would you say if I asked you to marry me?"'s be for we got married. we just had our 7 year anniversary after only knowing each other/dating for 2 months and 22 days.
"She's not gonna like sharing you with me." He said, "She'll have to learn to live with it."
your 23, he's 26. you both know by now what you both want in life. Do you both share what you Want? if you do in General, then I recommend taking a gamble.
If he is a true friend now matter what his feelings toward you are he will always be your friend!!!!!
Couldn't get my Blog ID to Work..... This is Jeremy (April's husband)
WOW, is that guy logic or what? :D I've read your whole blog to him over a couple of nights :)
Oh MAN. That boy is seriously not smart. (no you honey... Cordy's guy) ugh
I haven't read Cordy's blog for a few days. I need to see what you were talking about when you called me and left this message on my phone on Friday - "Okay, I don't know why I'm calling you to tell you this, but Cordy just updated her blog, and oh my gosh. I'm going to slap that boy." I must go see what has happened!
And to Cordy, if you're still reading these comments, I'm so sorry you're in this situation. It sounds like the guy you love (I can't remember his name) has feelings for you, so I'm a bit flabbergasted as to why he hasn't acted on them. I am kind of mad at him - I feel like he has led you on. I don't think a person who "just wants to be your friend" should brush your hair away from your cheek, or tell you how pretty you are, or flirtatiously throw leaves at you. It's just not right. It's cruel. I agree with Apes - tell him. Then, if he doesn't want it, you can distance yourself. If he does want it, then voila.
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