I came across this comment on a blog I occasionally check. I thought it was very true and needed to be shared... so I'm sharing it!
"People pull each other to respond in ways they find predictable. We all see through a lens that is based on answers to basic questions such as “Can I trust other people?” “Am I worthy of the care or attention of others?” and “Do I have something to say / Am I capable?” If someone has generally negative answers to those questions (often due to poor parenting) they will pull others to respond to them in ways that confirm those answers… The challenge for the rest of us, and the “really hard question” is to recognize this and NOT respond the way they are pulling us to. As one author put it, we need to “give better back” rather than just reacting."
I currently am in amazement as to what people sometime project onto others. Things like "I can't trust you" really become "I can't trust myself" and sends a huge warning sign to everyone around them that everyone else probably shouldn't trust them either.
Anyways, interesting... and I thought I would share. :)
2 comments:
Wow, very deep. I had to read it a few times. I've been reading tween literature lately and need to put on my adult thinking cap. :) I think the writer is absolutely right - people project their issues onto others.
A book that I think you would be interested in is Games People Play by Eric Berne, MD. It's about the things that people do to get certain reactions or responses. It's an older book, but I wouldn't be surprised if the scenario you described might have a page dedicated to it in that book.
It at least gives you some insight into why people do some of the things they do.
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