So Goober asked Jer to cut his hair the other day...
Goober hates even the thought of Jer or I cutting his hair. Hates it. Screams bloody murder at the trimmers. So I was very surprised when he asked.
He did it because he saw Jer cutting EBs hair with no problem whatsoever. EB standing there looking around and Jer just running the trimmers through his hair....
Looking back on it, maybe we should have tried to cut his hair right then. But we didn't. We decided to wait till tonight.
Jer took a bar stool and put it out on the back deck, you know, less cleanup that way. And then had Goober sit on the bar stool.
Ya, not such a great idea.
As soon as Jer touched his hair with the trimmers the screaming commenced. Except now there wasn't really much of an option...cause Goober had a big bald patch just above his left ear. And of course we didn't think about the fact that if he freaked out all the hair places would be closed for the night. And Goober has school in the morning.
Basically it was one of three options... let Goober go to school and be made fun of (not keen on that one), Let Goober stay home from school and take him to get his hair cut (He already missed today due to a low grade fever this morning), or somehow get the kid to let us finish cutting his hair.....
Yah, can I say NONE of those happened. It was not good.
Basically Jer and I ruled out options one and two because we are trying to be good parents and trying to protect our kid from humiliation and also trying not to give him the impression that school is optional.
So we proceeded to try to bribe the kid. "You can have a sucker" and "Afterwords you can have a Popsicle".
Nope. No can do.
Then it changed to "Honey, this doesn't hurt" (for some reason he is set on the fact that a haircut from Jer or I hurts.... EB didn't think so.... *sigh*) and "can you be really brave? What can I do to help? Will holding your hand help?" and attempting to try to continue cutting his hair. Commence freak out.
Then it started to get really tiring. And cold outside... and starting to get dark. It was "Goober stop freaking out or your going to loose the video games for tomorrow" ...
Nope. No can do. Nothing was working. And seeing no other options that were really viable Jer and I commenced to cut Goobers hair the hard way. With him struggling and freaking out the whole time.
Afterword I was sure to let him know I loved him, gave him hugs and kisses, tried to explain that I wasn't trying to hurt either him or his feelings. How do you explain that to a kid?
Now that I look back on it (only about 30 minutes ago) I think that maybe I should have just let him go to school with it that way... or maybe just kept him home and took him to a hair place tomorrow. I mean, really? Would he ever remember that he once missed school to get a haircut?
I'm afraid he will have horrid first memories of Jer and I trying to cut his hair. I think he may have trust issues with us... I wonder why? Maybe because we push issues like this that are not that important? Maybe some other reason... I don't know....
Either way, I feel like a really crappy parent at the moment.
6 comments:
I think the trust issues are normal... or at least I hope so. Abrie has this irrational fear that I am going to leave her somewhere. I have never ever even come close to leaving her somewhere, yet she freaks out if I walk outside without her.
Sorry the hair cut experience was unpleasant. Maybe you should try letting him grow it out? Long hair is all the rage among 19 year olds where I go to school.
I don't know if there is something like this in Idaho, but here there is a kidz cutz that has movies and video games for the kids to watch or play while they get their hair cut. Maybe something like that would work next time??
But I wouldn't worry. I doubt you did any lasting harm. But I understand that it's still stressful. Parenting is all about the guilt, right?
Jakob used to freak out a lot while we were cutting his hair. But one time Pete was cutting his hair and just started asking him questions. "What color is the picture? What do you see in it? What did you do at school today? Tell me what Ironman looks like." And it kept him distracted, and now it's no big deal to cut his hair. Another thing that I've done before is set the clippers on their hand-I think the buzzing/vibrating near their heads could be scary. That way they can see that it just kind of buzzes, but that's all, and nothing to worry about.
I feel like a crappy parent on a daily basis, for one reason or another. So don't worry about that. It sounds like you did all that you could do, and all kids have things that are unpleasant for them, or things that they worry about, etc.
I am sorry! I hate it when I have to make my kids do something they don't want to. Whenever I cut Carsen's hair I put a movie on and snip away. I do it the old fashioned way, scissors and comb, maybe that way would be less traumatic? It does take longer tho...good luck, and you are not a crappy mom!!
Oh, man.... we tried everything. We tried trying to distract him... we tried using scissors. Nothing worked. But if I take him to a hair place.... totoally fine. No problem so calm that the stylists compliment him up and down. He even turns his head and whatnot when they ask him to.
*sigh*
Just look forward to him losing teeth!!! ha!
Don't feel bad - lots of people I know have trouble with their kids hating haircuts. I think it's pretty normal. By the way - you handled it exactly like I would have. I hope that makes you feel better - not worse!
At least he doesn't freak out at the hair cutting place. And you aren't bad parents. I would have done the same. I wonder if the cutters really do "hurt" him - Dylan complains of that, but if we spray WD 40 on the trimmer and then wipe it off right before we trim, he says they don't hurt.
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