bleh...

So yesterday I started to feel it.

That narsty ickyness in my stomach.

I couldn't decide if it was me becoming ill or just the placebo effect of everyone around me being ill and me thinking I could have gotten it too.

So I went to my Love and Logic class at the school last night and then came home and went to bed.

This morning I felt downright crappy. You know that feeling where if you lay down you feel like everything is up in your throat, but if you sit up you think you might hurl? Yeah, that feeling.

Jer took care of getting the kids up and getting them out the door, I did Missy's hair in a pony tail while she ate and then went back to bed. At some point my mom came by and dropped some things off.

Jer let me sleep.

I woke at about 11 and decided it was probably time to get a shower etc and that I felt remarkably better. I felt better for a while.

and then not so good.

Then better.

So, here is the question... at what point can I say "I feel better" when it's so off again and on again?! I had been planning on taking Missy to see some friends preform with their dance classes tonight... and tomorrow I had planned on going to Utah (I know my grandpa is really looking forward to the visit) and going to the aquarium because Missy has been asking to see "fishes" lately and it will be a while before I get another weekend that we can do that.

So if I don't start feeling crappy again, do you think it's alright to go ahead with my plans, or do you think maybe not?

Walk Like and Egyptian

The Women of Tahrir from Yasmin Moll on Vimeo.

For women told "no" so often, it's amazing what happens when they decide that they too have a voice.

Poor Sickos :(

So, as you know, last Friday Missy was sick. I mainly attributed it to something that was probably food related.

Yeah, that was a mistake I think.

Last night Goober came into my room around midnight to tell me he couldn't sleep and wasn't feeling well. So I took his temperature (it was a little high) and gave him some kids Motrin and some kids Pepto tablets and sent him back to bed hoping that would stave whatever it was off.

Within an hour I hear him yelling for me. As I go into his room he tells me that he puked, and then he continued to puke. I tried to mitigate some of the damage, thinking that since his bed was already a mess I just wanted him to keep the mess there.

I ran and got Jer (who was downstairs watching a movie) and we both went to work getting things cleaned up, which was a huge job because Goober sleeps on the top bunk and that is definitely not the best place to throw up at. I should have moved him to the bottom bunk when he started complaining about not feeling well. Live and learn I guess1!

I put Goober in the bath, and got Turbo a bed fixed up on the front room couch so that he could continue to sleep (thank goodness he wasn't sleeping in the line of fire!), then proceeded to take the bedding that Jer was stripping off of the boys beds and spraying the gunk off in the kitchen sink with the sprayer. Jer proceeded to use the carpet cleaning solution on the boys carpet and while I was throwing things into the washing machine he made the boys beds.

We decided that Goober should sleep on the bottom bunk in case he got hit with another bout of the stuff. Turbo slept the rest of the night on the couch.

When we were all done and Goober was tucked back into bed and had the "puke bowl" close at hand Jer tells me that he doesn't feel so hot either.

This morning was the first time since I've known Jer that he actually physically upchucked. Keep in mind that we have been married over nine years... ya, the man hated throwing up and would rather feel crappy for an extended period of time than do it.

Anyways, I really hope that this stuff passes quickly for the boys like it did for Missy and that somehow Turbo and I are able to avoid it.

Trying to clean out the wrong folder

Tonight I was looking at my email. I thought "Hey! Maybe I should clean out some of my folders!"

I clicked "Manage folders" and looked at which ones had the most memory in them. Turned out my "Family" folder had the most. So I clicked there and started to sift.

Yeah, not such a good idea.

You know how time is supposed to help heal? Apparently re-reading things that have happened in the past undoes that. I don't know if there is real healing from some things.

I thought about just deleting it all... then thought, it will probably be important someday for my children to understand the dynamics of certain relationships and why they are the way they are.

I should probably print those emails out, but then I wouldn't know what to do with them and I would probably come across them more often and just end up crying again.

So, so much for trying to clean out that folder.

Maybe in a couple more years...

Considering Dance and When do you speak up?

Today Missy woke up at 4:45 am with news that she had puked on her bed. Poor girl. I gave her a bath to clean her up and wash yuck out of her hair while Jer (saint of a man) cleaned up her bed and got new bedding on her bed. She was surprisingly happy considering and I was able to put her back in bed without much fuss.

At 7:45 she was back in my room saying she was cold... I had her lay down with me and after a sec realized that she was swallowing a lot. We raced to the bathroom and she lost it again. Poor thing. I noticed her hair was wet and thought it was because of the earlier bath, but upon checking her bed found that wasn't the case. Into the bath again and another sheet change. Again she was remarkably upbeat.

By 9am she hadn't gotten sick again and seemed to be doing well, so I took off to a dance festival in a nearby town to watch a friend's daughter preform their dance routines. I had said I was interested and would try... so off I went.

To sum that up, it was really really cool, I think I will probably be taking Missy (and maybe the boys of they are interested) to watch a performance this Thursday. If they are interested I may go ahead and sign them up.

Goober already thinks he has mad dancing skillz... but he really doesn't. If he wants them though I'm happy to give it a try, maybe he just needs some tips from someone who CAN dance. lol

In other news: I think I may have started a fire storm on a friends blog. I hope not though.

She has a wonderful little boy who happens to really enjoy girl things. Including pretending to have long hair and put bows etc in it. He is so cute! :)

Anyhow, comments keep popping up (not just one time but many) on her blog that conclude decisively that he "will grow out of it"... and I admit, he might. That would certainly make life easier for him (and all those who love him) in the long run, and probably the short run in many ways as well.

My concern is this... what if he doesn't? Are these people inadvertently saying that they won't accept him if he doesn't? are they saying that they will blame his parents if he doesn't or that they will think something is "wrong" if he doesn't?

I certainly don't think they are intending to be insensitive or hurtful, but I think to many people these comments may come across that way.

So I tried to gently say that things may not end up exactly how others want it to, and that is alright. That little boy will be loved and admired and have loads of potential in spite of (or maybe because of) the things that he finds enjoyable and that he is drawn to in this life.

I know my friend will take my comment the way I intended it, and I made sure that she knows that she can delete it if she wants to and I won't be offended or have my feelings hurt.

So what do you do when you think others may be unintentionally causing harm? Do you say something or do you stay silent... and if you say something, well, at what point do you say it?

Our School

I'm so happy! They redid our schools website! It looks 5 thousand times better and I'm excited to see when all the info is put into it :)

Tonight I get to be on a question and answer panel (whatever that entails... all I know is that I'm the  "parent" on the panel). I guess the panel is going to be after we have a Montessori Expert Speak... interesting, I guess we had her fly in from... um, somewhere that's not here, I can't remember lol.

She's supposed to be good and it's open to the public :) Come join us if you want! it's at 7pm at the Shilo Inn.

Assumptions.

Isn't it interesting the assumptions that people make about others.

I find it amusing that ever since I started dying my hair punk colors teenagers now gravitate towards me... :)

Ever since I started wearing dangly earrings regularly people think I'm always put together... *snicker*

Ever since I started to exercise people think I eat right... MWHAHAHAHA

and ever since I became open about my lack of belief some people think that I'm not as worthwhile or as good of a person as I used to be ...

or at least they stopped trying as hard to hide how they felt.

That one is actually really, really sad and quite hurtful.