I wrote an email to one of my sisters recently and realized that I did an okay job of summing up where I am at in life right now. So here is where I'm at.
My kids and I are pretty good, I think Potty Training is my bane, I'm SO not looking forward to starting The Energizer Bunny. Goober still has issues and still wets the bed fairly often, but where there is history of bed wetting in the family that's no surprise. Missy is a bit better though in this area.
I've been in a bit of a confused state for a while now. I'm truly at odds with my religion in many ways but in others areas I fully believe, Jer on the other hand fully supports the religion though is sympathetic to my frustrations. I have a hard time knowing if I should continue to go to church to save my children from becoming "projects" and socially stigmatized or if I should stop going so that they can learn to think outside of traditional roles. Specifically my daughter whom I want to learn to know how to truly be a leader when the religion seams to scream at girls and women to constantly be a submissive follower. grrrrr.
My social group is a frustration at the moment as well... though there isn't much "drama" (thank goodness) there isn't a whole lot of enthusiasm either. I find that I have one truly good friend that that the rest appear to merely "put up" with me. This is irritating for someone who loves having a lot of people around, loves to people watch, and will forever want to be the center of attention even though I've found my personality is not the type that people are usually drawn to. Mostly people find me a bit loud and opinionated and instead of understanding that I just want to be heard and not that I want them to agree with me all the time, they back away. I never know when I'm over analyzing the social sphere to the point that I'm finding issues that aren't really there.
I hate it when everything hits the fan at once, though I'm glad that I don't have greater issues to deal with and am generally content with life as it is.
So there ya have it.
6 comments:
Love you! We are finally getting over being sick, so maybe next week we can get together again?? Plus Jason is leaving this weekend, and I will need something to take my mind off of the huge gaping hole in my life. :-S
I understand that! yes, definately get together. Glad you are getting over being sick :P that nasty stuff is going AROUND.
You are a braver soul than I ... thank you for such an honest, open post about yourself.
I Love My Sisters (huge -> :))
I'm sorry things are kind of "blah" right now for you. If you ever want to talk (if you can find a working phone! :) ) then give me a call! We really should get together...
Apes, I loved this post. I love when people are REAL. When they share their doubts and confusion and fears and sadness, as well as the happiness. Which is why I love your blog. I'm sorry your social situation is weird, too. I think I overanalyze social situations, as well. I'm really over-sensitive. If someone doesn't talk to me a whole lot like in church or whatever, in my head, I'm like, "She must not like me anymore." When maybe she just feels sick or tired or something. Anyways, I just think you are great - I love you the way you are. And I love that you are opinionated. You are real. You think for yourself. You are smart.
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