I think I expect too much out of life sometimes. Mostly out of relationships. I can only think of maybe three relationships in my life that I'm satisfied with, and when I say satified I mean I don't think they could be better and if they do get better I would be pleasantly surprised.
My number one relationship is with Jer. Which is as it should be. I truly do think that we are two sides of the same coin. We rarely argue, and when we do it's usually because something is frustrating one or the other of us that has little to do with the person we are arguing with. ie I may be frustrated with the kids one day and Jer comes home and says something that usually wouldn't bug me, but because I'm already frustrated I let it bug me and off we go from there. He's an awesome dad and a wonderful husband. I could go on and on, but I won't cause that isn't what this post is about! :) The point is, our relationship is awesome and I don't think I could have found anyone who could truly "get" me as much as he does! Relationship with my hubby? A++
The second one is my relationship with my parents. Mom and I exercise together most mornings and often times my parents will drop by my house to see the kids and visit... usually about once every two weeks or so. My dad is more quiet and he works so getting together with him is a little harder simply because his schedule is a little less adjustable, but when I do get a chance to "hang out" with him I always enjoy it and he usually gets my mind running about one thing or another that I hadn't thought of before. Relationship with my parents? A++
The third relationship that I have that I'm quit satisfied with is that of my BFF Erika. I've known her forever and honestly she is probably closer to me than my own siblings. This is probably due to the rocks and roadblocks that have occurred within my relationships with my sisters. I would love to be close to them and I really try not to hold grudges, but past hurts sometimes still hurt. Erika and I can go for almost any length of time without talking and just pick up the phone and call, no reason, just to chit chat... and it's like we just talked last week... 'cept there's more things that have happened so therefore more things to talk about! We definitely see differently on a ton of things, but it makes for great conversations and not a dull moment :) And her family is way cute and she married a good guy... so what's not to love!? Relationship with Erika? A++
Besides that, like I said earlier, I think my expectations are too high. I hear about family that are waaaaay close. Sisters and bothers that talk to each other daily or cousins that hang out with each other all the time, and quiet frankly I'm jealous. I wish I had those too. But maybe those are the only close relationships that those people have. Maybe most people only have 2 or 3 A++ relationships? I'm not sure really. Would you say that is true?
I look around me and think "Man, wouldn't it be nice if ... " I was closer to my siblings, or I had a cousin I could talk to, or even an aunt. A grandparent? Someone who lives nearby? I get lonely to think there are so few people who really "get" me. Am I really so hard to "get"? Or do I unknowingly shut people out? I really don't try to.
Admittedly I know I rub some people the wrong way. If people are too much "black/white" or "right/wrong" thinkers I have a hard time with them. I try not to, but my world is full of grays... so it seems that they always want to lump me into one extreme or another, and I don't fit well in either group, and get irritated when people try to force me into one. Then again tolerance is something that I find indispensable.
Or maybe I'm just being too self analyzing... how many close relationships do you have?
2 comments:
This is something I have been thinking a lot about, too. I often think that I'm closer to a person than maybe I am?? I feel like I'm always getting "dissed" by someone that I thought I was really tight with. Like my friend that just had a baby. She and I had a pact that we would call each other when we went into labor. Did I get a call? Nope. I found out about it on FACEBOOK. When I went to visit her, she shooed me out the door in 20 minutes. I've texted her a couple of times since then, like, "Hey, just making sure you're doing okay..." and I haven't heard one thing back. I'm trying not to get too offended, but I admit that I'm hurt. I think I only have a few A++ relationships in my life, too. Maybe that's normal.
I think that having more than a few A++ relationships is not sustainable. I have two. That's it. Two. My husband and one girlfriend. Would I like more? Sure. But like you, I don't think that there are many people that "get me". Those are the only two people that really know and understand my heart on it's deepest level and that know what I'm thinking before I even say anything.
I feel like most other people find me somewhat interesting, but not interesting enough to pursue a close friendship with. But that's probably because I tend to protect myself heavily and I'm sure it's off-putting to some.
Overall, these two close relationships are sustainable and truly satisfying. I feel lucky to even have them. :)
For what it's worth, there's nothing wrong with you. Compatibility is so sensitive and I would venture to say that if everyone was honest with themselves, a good majority would be in the same boat as you and me.
Post a Comment