Why I'm So Warped or "I Hurt When You Hurt"

Overall my childhood was a pretty good one. I grew up in a good family with parents who loved me and did what they could for me. I might even say I was spoiled in many ways... Yes, my dear sisters, I admit it! I think most of it came from the fact that my parents were better off by the time I came around and was growing up than they were when my sisters were young. Anyways, to my point. I had a good childhood, but I had my challenges too. Just like every other kid, I guess.

When I was in early elementary I had issues with keeping up with my class, thank goodness I had a wonderful teacher who spotted it and was willing to help me as much as she could. She communicated well with my parents to help them understand what was going on and therefore, when we moved to another school right before my 5Th grade year my mom and dad knew what needed to be done and got the new school to work with me as well. By the time I entered junior high I was caught up and actually ahead in some subjects. Yay for good teachers!

That of course was not the sum total of my hardships. Some of those stay with me to this day, in the back of my mind making me question myself and others, but that is for another day.

You see, when I moved into our new home in the fifth grade I didn't have any friends (like most kids when they move to a new neighborhood and a new school). I of course did my best to make friends quickly so that I wouldn't feel so alone (which by the way is the worst feeling in the whole world in my book). The first kids I met were on the street I lived on. There was only one boy in my grade that lived on our street and you know how elementary school kids feel about the other gender. BLECH! So I made friends with kids younger than me. Two girls in particular. They were pretty fun to play with even if they were two years younger than me... I mean, beggars can't be choosers, eh? At least we had fun.

For a while.

Then one of them decided she didn't like me so much anymore, and when we had been playing happily for a while and the other girl came around she would tell me that she wanted to play with "Anna" alone. (yes I changed her name for those that may know her) Basically she dismissed me. I wasn't wanted around anymore so go home.

I didn't have any other friends yet.

Oh did that hurt.

I can't tell you how badly. There just aren't words to convey how cutting it is to feel unwanted.

My mom did her best to comfort me. She told me I didn't need them anyways. The thing was though... I did. I needed friends. After a while of trying to "just deal with it" and getting hurt over and over again I finally decided that what mom said was true. I didn't need them.

Granted this time in my life passed, I made new friends when school started and went on my merry way (so to speak).

I look back at that time and remember my mom telling me "I hurt when you hurt!" or "this hurts me too" ... as a kid I never really got that. I never really understood until recently.

Actually I never fully understood till this week.

Because this week, my son was excluded. Oh man, does that hurt. But you know what? When I told him "If they don't want to play with you, they aren't your friends. Can you find another friend to play with?"

Guess what?

HE DID.